HuMaN LiFe iS sO CoMpLiCaTeD...

The way I have written the title of this blog... Doesn't it look complicated itself?

The question I have in my mind is that "Is human life really complicated, or humans make it complicated by their own deeds?"

I remember; my great-grandmother used to tell me stories of her childhood. She was born in 1910, passed away in 1993. I was 9 years old at that time, but I remember some of her stories. They had such a simple life! I admit, they were not given any freedom of thought or action at that time; societal rules and norms were very specific and strict. But they need not have thought about it. This system was made by God, and they would be benefitted if they obey the God. They were told to help poor, do good deeds for the benefit of others so that they attain Moksha at later stages of their lives. Men were supposed to go out and work, women were supposed to take care of home and children. They were happy living a simple life, where they worried the most about getting their sons good education so that they settle well in a convenient government job, and getting their daughters married to suitable groom from a well-educated family. I’m not saying that this system was idealistic, it had its shortcomings, but life was relatively simple then.

Even at my grandmother’s time and my mother’s youth, life was not as complicated as it is today. What with the effects of globalization showing in every nook and corner of the country, we have to think and take decisions at every stage in our lives. Where our traditional value system contradicts the norms of the new, modern world; a typical Indian youngster is always confused which one should he follow.

If you are not successful, you won’t get any recognition in the society. If you don’t have enough money to show off, you fear that people will look down upon you. If you don’t strive hard to achieve those upper positions in the corporate world, you’ll be criticized because you lack the ambition. You don’t have many choices for your own life. The system, the society, all your family, friends and well-wishers govern your life.

One fine day if you feel that I have earned sufficient money, now I want to stay at home and do nothing. Can you do that? The answer is: NO. The monster called society won’t let you live in peace. What if you want to quit living in this mundane everyday routine life, and do something radical or different? I agree that there are such different people in society, like Medha Patkar, or Dr. Abhay and Rani Bang, Baba Amte, Arvind Gupta etc. There are these revolutionaries who dared to do something different and were successful in it. Do you think, if they had failed, their ideas about improving society had not proven to be practical; would they be able to survive here? When we see one successful person, there are one million who have failed, and stamped ‘worthless’ by the society. Then why would anyone dare to think different?

Doesn’t this all make human life more complicated? First, create something called ‘society’, then create a set of unspoken norms that a human being needs to follow to stay in the group, then appreciate those who have tweaked these norms slightly to think something ‘radical’ and punish those who go beyond norms. I feel that we have created a vicious circle in which everybody has to enter, and there in no provision for exit.

Then there are some people like me, who have ample time to think about all these things and keep writing it all in a blog. We don’t do anything, but sit on the sidelines and let other people read and comment on it. For that purpose, after fire and wheel, we have complicated our lives further by inventing internet!!!

As aptly said by John Louis von Neumann, "If people do not believe that mathematics is simple, it is only because they do not realize how complicated life is."

I believe that Homo Sepian was happier living in Jungle...

Let the complications continue…

Confusions of a typical mind...

When we live in today’s so-called modern society, in India; we can see distinct types and traits of people. Some people are hardcore orthodox, some are really ‘modern’ in their thinking and behavior and third category is that of wannabes. And today I want to write about these wannabes. Majority of today’s middle class (lower middle, middle middle and some part of upper middle class included) are the wannabes. They want to show to the world that they are modern, they are the rational thinkers and doing something great for the society, be it the change in their dressing sense or letting their daughters go out and party (though closely monitored).

The key question here is; does dressing modernly mean it is modern thinking? Does breaking some archetypical social norms and trying to set new ones, deliberately mean rational thinking? Does copying western culture blindly mean that you are doing something radical? In most of the cases, the original, core mindset remains orthodox. It is just the outer mask that these people are trying to change.

Basically, if you see, no thinking can be termed as ‘different’, ‘radical’, or ‘modern’; simply because no two persons can think alike. Just because as a society, we live with some rules, regulations and unspoken norms doesn’t mean that we actually think those norms are good for us. There is not a single person on this earth who never had any urge to fight against some of the social norms which haven’t changed with times; I am sure of that.

There are certain incidences in our lives which we can’t exactly fit into the standard definitions. And being in the society, every other person expects every other person to define clearly their role and goals in life, to define their relationships in a standard format accepted by the society. The question is who constitutes the society? A bunch of hypocrites like you and me? Yes, I would certainly admit here that I’m a hypocrite. According to me, a hypocrite is a person who is aware of the truth but does not have the courage or guts to ‘live’ the truth. In this case, I would say that ‘ignorance is bliss’ because you don’t have to think about anything, just walk through your life along with a herd, and you live a respectable life in the ‘society’.

What about the people who are able to think rationally, but due to their upbringing and cowardice are not able to implement their thoughts? Practically speaking, they are the hypocrites, but I would say they are poor souls trapped in their own image and perceptions of themselves created in other people’s minds. “If I actually do what I think, what would the society say? Will I be ignored/ boycotted? What about my own ‘respectable’ future? What would happen to my near and dear ones? Will they have to suffer contempt of society because of me? What about my parents? They raised me with all that they have, isn’t it my duty to see them happy when they are old? Am I being selfish by just looking at myself and my thought process, disregarding the set norms? But if I don’t, I will be the one to suffer rather than a whole bunch of people who will get hurt by my behavior”… “Sacrifice, Sacrifice, Sacrifice… for whom? For a set of dumb people who don’t have independent thinking capabilities? Or for other cowards like me who don’t want to tarnish their own image which is collectively built over the years?”

Why do I need to define each and every relationship of mine very meticulously? There are many things which are unsaid and undone, just understood. Why do I have this strong urge to put everything in black and white, with no gray areas in between? Just to keep myself safe? Safe from what? Just to say that I don’t want any confusions and complexities in my life? Isn’t this the biggest confusion in itself? After a confusion happens, I try to mould it deliberately in some silly rules and norms so that, u know, I maintain the image that I and my parents cultivated for myself over these past 25 years.

I have my own set of relationships, be it my friends, my relatives, the person I loved at some point of my life, and the people who are close to me, but can’t be set into definitions. What exactly can you say about the relationship between a guy and a girl, if there’s no physical attraction, nothing of the mushy-mushy being-in-love kind of feelings, but just a mutual respect and mature understanding? Going by typical Indian society’s norms, either you cut off some parameters of this kind of friendship, be ‘strictly friends’ or you call the person your ‘rakhi brother/sister’, which has become a joke in itself, or you be afraid of not having any definitions and try to mould this relationship in socially ‘acceptable’ love affair, though the kind of feelings you have for that person are entirely on a different level? It is not exactly a friendship, not an affair, you don’t exactly think of the person as a brother/sister. You exactly know where your relationship stands, you are very clear what you want from your own life, you know it perfectly well that you have found out someone who understands you well, respects you, treats you like a kid when you need some comfort, treats you like a parent when he/she needs some advise, you have just found a common comfort zone with each other. How do you define this kind of relationship? How do you get on, accepting the conditions imposed by other people? Why to put an end to a beautiful relationship, just because you are afraid of ‘what will other people think’? Why not to stand straight and dare to call a spade a spade? Why not to get on with your own life when you know that you are 100% right and clear in your thinking? Why not, for once, refuse to be a hypocrite and do what you feel is right?

Why not to end the typical mindset, to end all the confusions?

Rains...

Yeh raat bheegi bheegi, yeh mast fizayein…

Utha dheere dheere yun chaand pyaara pyaara…

Bheegi bheegi raat aur ek pyarasa chaand!! Waah kya combination hai!!! I just love this song…

Why?

Because I love the way the lyrics show subtle romanticism… rains and moon are always associated with romanticism… be it any language or any culture… its universal…

What’s more? Our own beloved Bollywood always depicts all those romantic love scenes in rains only… Rain-drenched actresses are a trademark of Bollywood…

But that’s not the reason why I’m writing this blog… it’s the rainy season… and I love water in any form... especially when it pours down heavily from skies… I just love those heavy rainfalls, be it anywhere…

Right now I’m here in the hostel, away from home… and I do miss Mumbai rains… I know some people might laugh at me, because I love all those muddy Mumbai rains, even if its all dirty and water-clogged everywhere… I was one of the persons who was irritated by all that shabbiness… I still am, but the moment I sit in the window of my Thane home, a cup of masala chai in my hand, I just forget all that is shabby in the world… I’m just thrilled because rains are there… the way the raindrops touch my windowpanes, I feel that the nature itself is caressing me with its hands… it is calling my soul with open arms… “Meghana, what are you sitting there for? Come out, shake a hand with me, I want your company today”

When I hear that call from the nature, I loose touch with all reality and sophistication, and I just want to run out like a small kid, and get drenched in rain, only to find my mother scolding, “beta, you’ll catch a cold”… what the hell, I go out onto the terrace anyways, and let me tell you, my mom has never stopped me saying that I will catch cold… She herself comes out sometimes to get drenched, and we don’t remain mother and daughter, we just become two giggling kids, who extremely enjoy the rainwater and are thrilled to see the rainbow, if it appears in the sky…

My love for rains is there with me since childhood, and I don’t think I’ll ever care about the world if I want to embrace nature with both my hands, get wet in the rain and more importantly, just be happy that’s rains are finally here…

Every person has a child inside him/her, whatever be the age… and the child inside me just wants to run and run and run… to see the heavy downpour all around me, to see the nature welcoming me with all the greenery spread around, to realize that life’s here again, to discover that the smell of earth is sweeter than any perfume, to just be a kid and not to worry about anything in this world… just take in those moments of joy and absolute bliss… never to think again…

Me...

A song of gold sung from the heart...
A setting sun throwing light and an arena of colours on the horizon...
A precious book read a thousand times.. .
A simple talk carrying its meaning too far..

A lone tree surviving in a cruel windy weather...
A lone bright star amidst the universe containing a vast pool of brighter stars...
A tear which rolls down on a cheek...
A plethora of emotions hid behind one smiling, laughing face...

A person who wants to fight the unfair world with all her might...
A person who wants to make some place for herself in the hearts of others...
A person who wants to bring a smile on other people's faces...
A person who is lonely... not by choice, but by chance...

That's me...

on Songs...

Songs... specially, old hindi songs...

I don't think I can really define the kind of charm they have... I am a fan of all kinds of hindi film songs right from late 40's to late 90's... but I still don't know why, I don't much like the songs that Bollywood generates today.. with some exceptions, of course..

I get bored with new songs very easily.. I listen to them for some time if I like them, then I just get fed up with them soon..

it NEVER happens so with old songs.. I always feel a kind of charm, a freshness about them.. especially the songs sung by Kishore, Rafi, Geeta Dutt, Asha and Hemant Kumar.. I still don't know what attracts me to yaad kiya dilne kahan ho tum.. who knows Usha Kiran and Dev Anand these days? but I still like the song and the video both.. I have even set it as my caller tune.. it seemed so perfect for a caller tune..

yaad kiya dil ne kahan ho tum
jhoomati bahaar hai kahan ho tum
pyaar se pukar lo jahan ho tum
pyaar se pukar lo jahan ho tum

whenever anyone of my friends remembers me and calls me, I always feel like telling them "call me with love wherever you are, I am just a phone call away.."

there is this old-world innocence and charm associated with the romantic songs like maang ke saath tumhara from naya daur or udhar tum haseen ho idhar dil jawan hai yeh rangeen raaton ki ek daastan hai from Mr. and Mrs. 55 or aaja sanam madhur chandani mein hum tum mile to virane mein bhi aa jayegi bahar... wow!!! i just love those lyrics.. there's some shyness associated with the expression, and very subtle undercurrents of passion... it all seems attractive, and better than the nakedness of physical wants and needs that we come across in recent songs.

I think people and their expressions look more clear if the song is shot in black-and-white mode.. even the comedy, like Johny Walker does in various movies and songs.. the one i absolutely love is the office romance in jaane kahan mera jigar gaya ji.. and another one is sar jo tera chakaraaye... and aye dil hai mushquil jeena yahan.. jara hatke jara bachke yeh hai bombay meri jaan.. I absolutely love looking at all those locations in Mumbai when it was still called as 'Bombay'..

Now what do I say about Kishore Kumar? He is the uncontested king of the old hindi songs, and GOD OF SINGING according to me.. the way he manages to make you smile with his yodling or laugh with the songs like paanch rupaiya baara aana or gaana na aaya bajaana na aaya, or makes u feel sad and emotional with some songs like zindagi ka safar hai yeh kaisa safar, mera jeevan kora kagaz.. or gives u all those subtle romantic vibes in o hansini and tum bin jaoon kahan.. or makes you dance to the tunes of om shanti om and saara zamana.. haseenon ka deewana... only one word for all that... AMAZING!!! I'm absolutely in awe of this person...

only one equally versatile female singer is Asha... when she sings.. oh god, she blows you away with her talented voice... this woman can sing songs of any genre.. be it romantic, discotheque, sad, passionate, ghazal, mujra.. you name it and she has sung it... Asha when sings to the tunes of R. D. Burman with Gulzar's words... a masterpiece like mera kuchh samaan tumhare paas pada hai is created... that one is my all time favourite..

I can very well go on and on like this about old hindi movie songs.. but I got to stop somewhere... so I will stop here, though I've once again returned to my shell where I live with my songs.. I will listen to some more songs now, and will write about the rest later on..

Let there be music!!!