"Knock knock.."

“Knock knock”
“Who’s there?”
“….”
“……. Who’s there?”
“I am a friend”
“Friend? What friend? I don’t have any friends anymore…”
“… I’m your well-wisher”
“What? I’m not going to go and suicide in the Well just because you wish for it…”
“Let me come in… nobody recognizes me anymore”
“Go away… nobody comes here anymore…”
“…”
“What did you say your name was?”
“I didn’t tell you my name…”
“Ok. Who are you?”
“Job opportunity”
“What’s that? I have never heard of such a name”
“Never? How’s that possible? But I’m here now”
“…”
“Let me come in… I’ll explain”
“No! You better go back where you came from…”
“I have come from the past… and wanted to look at the future…”
“Oh.. Really? What was it like in the past?”
“Ahh… I was living in this human world… with lots of things of my kind… you know, all job opportunities…”
“Ohh… so you had a community thingy…”
“Yeah, sort of… and we were quite famous back then…”
“Really? All of you?”
“Yes. Most of us. People used to know our importance. They used to wait for us and grab us whenever they saw us”
“Grab you? Why in the world would somebody grab you?”
“Because, after converting us into jobs, they would get money…”
“Money? What’s that? Why do you keep talking funny words?”
“I’m talking pretty normal… what happened to the world here?”
“Ohh… as if you don’t know… ‘job opportunity’… are you the real one? The one as described in history books?”
“Yeah... Maybe”
“Ohh my god! You really are…”
“…  …”
“Come in now… let me have a look at you… I have always wondered… what do you look like, in person?”
“Ohh thanks… I actually look like a pay-package and a work profile combined together”
“Are you again talking funny words? … Ohh my god… you really do look like the way they describe you in history books”
“Tell me what happened to my community”
“Your species was wiped out from earth when a monster called ‘subprime crisis’ gave birth to another monster, ‘global economic slowdown’, who played havoc within our community and all the people are jobless now...”
“…”
“Even those who had a job were given what they call as ‘pink slips’ and from then on we are on the path to stone age again…”
“I really feel that you people should do something about it. Generate more job opportunities… be entrepreneurs… be creative enough to start something of your own… … …”
“Ohh my god… you really talk like… like you are from some other world… hey everybody, come on… have a look… look who’s here… A JOB OPPORTUNITY!!!”
(A huge mob of people gathers around, and upon seeing the job opportunity, they pounce on it… many people die in the fight, many are injured… only the one who was cunning enough to cheat or bribe the authorities … moreover, who has a ‘referral’… the lucky one emerges out as the winner… everybody else busy themselves in thinking that they tried, at least… everyone is satisfied… no more job opportunity exists in the world… the calm restores after the small storm… the world is at standstill once again… )

Thinking about you…

I close my eyes and think about you
I try hard not to let you go
I fight with myself to keep you alive
In my thoughts, actions and memories

I have got used to thinking about you
For days together, not counting nights
Sometimes I do it automatically
Just like a ritual I have got to do

I close my eyes and think about you
And then I wonder… why do I do it?
Is it really because I miss you?
Or is it just because I have got used to it?

I used to fight with you
Telling you not to give up
Justifying myself a thousand times
Trying my best to make you understand

Loving someone does not mean giving up
Love is all about standing up and fighting
With situation, with society, with critics;
With yourself, with me, with destiny…

Now I try hard to think about you
All that you really were…
All that I thought you were
And all that you actually weren’t…

Now sometimes I fight with myself
Because I have stopped thinking about you

I forget to remember you in each happy or sad moment
I disregard the memories once close to my heart
I don’t recall the last time I missed you
I have become ignorant of your existence…

Sometimes I feel
That I don’t know you anymore

And then I realize
That I never knew you…
I never ever knew you…

Goooood Morniiiiiiing!!! ... and good evenings as well!!!

There was a time when I wrote about lazy mornings and how I don't like to get up in the mornings... well, that perception has changed somehow... and these days I have been enjoying getting up early in the morning! Yes, the morning is beautiful, and my mornings these days are made more beautiful by meditation classes and the talks by Salman sir! I really don't believe that I missed those classes for so many days!
For those people who don't know what I'm talking about, here's the explanation: We have morning meditation sessions everyday at IMT Nagpur, which is an entirely voluntary exercise. Dr. Salman Ahmed, a psychologist and our professor of behavioural sciences, conducts these classes. He had been practicing meditation for many years now, and he conducts these sessions with a commentary, followed by a talk for 15-20 minutes on different topics in which he integrates spirituality with practicality, and sometimes discusses our problems.
I have been quite disturbed and upset for some days, due to various reasons... I have been confused as to where I'm heading in my life, what is exactly my role and purpose, how will I survive in the world without using any unethical means etc etc. I had also become quite moody and unpredictable, I was not feeling happy from within, placement tensions added... and I had become really frustrated and very imbalanced.
I'm not claiming that morning meditation worked like magic and all my worries are gone in 10 days time... No, but I get a space for myself and feel fresh after meditating... I get to learn something about some everyday little problems and bigger problems too, from the things sir discusses after meditation, get a new perspective or a different thought process. And the incredible thing is that in a very short span of 10 days, it has started having a positive effect on me.
I feel happy for much part of the day now... and yes, I try and stop cribbing to people about the small everyday issues... Even I'm alone, I try not to feel lonely... that's quite difficult, but I have learned that if I run behind people, they will try to avoid me and if I try and stop controlling people, then they will be more comfortable around me.
It started even before I started going for meditation, but I feel that this is a transition period for me and my thought process, and I should make the most of it. More that anything, I needed to learn the art of being happy and I feel that I'm on the right track for that. Sometimes I do feel that I wasted so many days, doing opposite of what I needed to do for myself; but again I feel this is the 'right time' to go ahead and explore myself... and it feels nice inside doing that.

Now about the good evenings... I have started going for jogging in the evenings! yeah, those of you who are thinking that finally I have started 'the weight reducing exercise'; let me tell you that I have not yet started dieting... but I will start that also, when I feel that I should do it. Those evening walks and jogging is more of a mind exercise for me. I started it before I started with meditation, just to get out of this campus. This is placement season for us, and due to the current situation in job market, everybody seems to be frustrated and subdued here. All you can hear is 'the placement talks' which can be quite boring and frustrating in itself, sometimes more than the situation. This campus is like a small pond full of same type of fish, so once one fish gets affected, the disease spreads all over. The whole of the campus seems gloomy and I felt a great need to get away for some time. I have found a friend who loves taking walks and going out as much as I do, and it was him who suggested we should go for jogging in the evenings. Later on, we were joined by another friend and now the three of us going for walks is a regular phenomenon.
We have found a 4 km route where we walk and jog alongside the highway and it's fun! I had never enjoyed exercising per say, but this feels different. It is as if I run and I leave all my bad moods and worries behind and what remains is sheer joy of the evenings. I just love looking at the plethora of colours in sky at the time of sunset, and the beautiful moon shining above while we are coming back! More than anything, the nature has a therapeutic effect on me. There is so much to see, observe and enjoy that I forget myself and get engrossed in the surroundings... Once I remember that we went for walk somewhat late in the evening and till the time we came back, the sky was studded with sparkling stars all over. We were still at some distance from the campus, away from light, and the stars were shining above... how beautiful that was! we were just standing there, looking at the stars like small kids who have found a new treasure... I just can't describe that feeling in words!
What does it take to enjoy nature? Some time... just 10-15 minutes... but those 10-15 minutes energize you for the whole day ahead... and provide small moments of enjoyment which help you overcome most of the tensions and worries...

So that's the story of my happy mornings and happy evenings... wish you all the same...

Happy days are back again... Happy days are here to stay... :)

Terror Strikes Yet Again...

What happened in Mumbai yesterday is really very shocking... I still can't believe this is happening now... I think nobody who loves Mumbai as much as I do would believe it...

Where is our Mumbai? One feels kinda lost now. There is this huge numbness that has come over. One can't feel, can't think, can't do anything but sit in front of television and watch the death toll increasing.

Who is dying out there? The Police, the commandos, the terrorists, 'the common man'? In short, the man who is working to earn his bread and butter, and trying to do that by the only means he knows. The people, who were shot dead on V.T. station, were on the way home from work, going back to their families... Had they not been shot dead, one wonders what would they be doing now? 'The common man' would have gone home, had dinner with his spouse, put their children to the bed and slept peacefully, thinking about the things to do tomorrow. Don't we all do that? Work for the day, have some entertainment at home and go to sleep thinking of things to do tomorrow, things to do on the weekend. I wonder what these men would have thought about their weekend plans. Visiting friends, going out shopping, catch a movie or staying at the home? Yes, they would have done that, had they been not taken away from their normal lives by a bunch of 'young adults' (they were no kids, adults neither, people of 20-25 years age) who think they are doing some noble work for some noble person. A person, who is sitting somewhere in this country or abroad, watching his orders being executed and laughing at all of us; the naive citizens of this country, who still don't know what they should or should not do in such situations.

Right now, looking at the scenario, one can’t blame any lone entity, be it the government, the politicians, the police, the commandos. The Mumbai Police, supposed to be the best in the world after Scotland Yard, were doing their duty when all these terrorist attacks took place. The police are trained to catch the criminals and law-breakers. How would anybody expect them to combat armed men, carrying a bunch of AK-47s, hand-grenades and rocket-launchers? Still, without any adequate protective equipment, they reached on the scene and tried to stop them. To think of a situation, where Hemant Karkare, The Chief of Anti-Terrorist Squad, went ahead with his men, regardless of his life; one ought to salute him. Vijay Salaskar, who has killed so many law-breakers, got killed by the hands of terrorists. These are our heroes, who went ahead, without stopping to take on the armed men.

While these people were risking their lives to save Mumbai’s significant monuments, the citizens and the foreigners, our ‘respectable’ politicians started a contest of who reaches the scene first. Arriving all the way from Delhi by helicopters, 3 leaders of 3 different parties just couldn’t share 1 helicopter, even in a crisis situation. They had to waste more of taxpayers’ money to go and visit the dead bodies of 100 taxpayers of this country. After arriving at Mumbai, all that the opposition party leader wanted to say was, “There was less violence when Mumbai was last attacked in our regime”. What kind of insensitive and shameless statement is this? What are they trying to prove? “Vote for us and you will have to live with less violence”? The key question here is, why are we supposed to live with any violence at all? It is a known fact that you can’t have a warning of terrorist attacks and you can do nothing to prevent them. But, when it was a time of taking a corrective action and to support the rescue operation going on, all these people could think was the coming elections and depleting vote-bank. Who will remain to vote for them, if these terrorists plan on a massive attack and destroy the city all together?

These terrorists, all within the age group of 20-25, in stead of earning their living and supporting their families by respectable means; are out there, risking their lives with AK-47 in their hands and tones of hatred in their hearts. Where does this kind of hatred come from? That too, when all others are thinking of getting good jobs, marrying, supporting their families… This is by no means, a rebellious action or a sudden outrage. It is a meticulously planned and bluntly executed attack. They are actually brainwashed into believing that they are doing good for their kaum, their religion. They say that they are doing this to take revenge on Hindus because of Babri Masjid incident. For how many years will they keep taking revenge of one incident? Were 1993 bomb blasts that rocked Mumbai not sufficient? What more do these people want? Did they ask a person what religion he belonged to, before shooting on V.T. station or before throwing a hand grenade? No, they didn’t. Yesterday, hindus and muslims were injured equally. This extremist thinking and outrageous behavior doesn’t lead to any solution of any problem. But the key question here is; does the problem really exist? Are muslims in India targeted by hindus? And even if they are, then what purpose does the attack on Taj and Oberoi suffice? Creating mayhem and taking people’s lives just because they want to prove their existence is a strategy followed over the time by various terrorist groups.

If we look at the death toll, today we can see it has reached upto 150. What did these 150 innocent people do to get killed by the terrorists? What was their fault? Nothing! They just happened to be at the wrong place at the worst time. One can’t help but think that in a country of a billion people, there is no value for a single human life today. It is so easy to kill a person! Just shoot a bullet, throw a hand grenade and the work is done! The most amazing thing is, the killer knows that it’s so easy. It all looks like a computer simulation game. Take a gun, aim, shoot, and your enemy is dead within seconds. Is that how these terrorists train their people? To take pleasure in killing, looking at the blood flowing like water? Do they really enjoy it or they just finish it off as an ordinary work, a regular job? What do they think while killing a man? Are they really aware of him as a human, or only an ‘enemy’ that they have to finish off?

The most disgusting thing put forward by all the terrorist attacks in the world is that human life is very cheap today. The price of a human has become equivalent to the price of gunpowder needed to make one bullet- nothing more, nothing less!

May all those who are dead rest in peace and those alive, take some action and fight the war against humanity. Amen!

Loneliness...

Loneliness is what I know…

Can’t let that feeling go

Like a shadow, like a friend

Loneliness is the feeling without any end

Wherever I go, whatever I see

Loneliness is always there with me

Endless journey, meaningless quest

I’m tired of trying, when will I ever get rest?

Looking at the future, looking at the past

Good things in life never last

Wherever I go, whatever I see

Loneliness is always there with me

What will I do? For all that I care…

Finding true happiness is always rare…

Happiness looks like an illusion…

What I have is only confusion…

Wherever I go, whatever I see

Loneliness is always there with me