Rains...

Yeh raat bheegi bheegi, yeh mast fizayein…

Utha dheere dheere yun chaand pyaara pyaara…

Bheegi bheegi raat aur ek pyarasa chaand!! Waah kya combination hai!!! I just love this song…

Why?

Because I love the way the lyrics show subtle romanticism… rains and moon are always associated with romanticism… be it any language or any culture… its universal…

What’s more? Our own beloved Bollywood always depicts all those romantic love scenes in rains only… Rain-drenched actresses are a trademark of Bollywood…

But that’s not the reason why I’m writing this blog… it’s the rainy season… and I love water in any form... especially when it pours down heavily from skies… I just love those heavy rainfalls, be it anywhere…

Right now I’m here in the hostel, away from home… and I do miss Mumbai rains… I know some people might laugh at me, because I love all those muddy Mumbai rains, even if its all dirty and water-clogged everywhere… I was one of the persons who was irritated by all that shabbiness… I still am, but the moment I sit in the window of my Thane home, a cup of masala chai in my hand, I just forget all that is shabby in the world… I’m just thrilled because rains are there… the way the raindrops touch my windowpanes, I feel that the nature itself is caressing me with its hands… it is calling my soul with open arms… “Meghana, what are you sitting there for? Come out, shake a hand with me, I want your company today”

When I hear that call from the nature, I loose touch with all reality and sophistication, and I just want to run out like a small kid, and get drenched in rain, only to find my mother scolding, “beta, you’ll catch a cold”… what the hell, I go out onto the terrace anyways, and let me tell you, my mom has never stopped me saying that I will catch cold… She herself comes out sometimes to get drenched, and we don’t remain mother and daughter, we just become two giggling kids, who extremely enjoy the rainwater and are thrilled to see the rainbow, if it appears in the sky…

My love for rains is there with me since childhood, and I don’t think I’ll ever care about the world if I want to embrace nature with both my hands, get wet in the rain and more importantly, just be happy that’s rains are finally here…

Every person has a child inside him/her, whatever be the age… and the child inside me just wants to run and run and run… to see the heavy downpour all around me, to see the nature welcoming me with all the greenery spread around, to realize that life’s here again, to discover that the smell of earth is sweeter than any perfume, to just be a kid and not to worry about anything in this world… just take in those moments of joy and absolute bliss… never to think again…

Me...

A song of gold sung from the heart...
A setting sun throwing light and an arena of colours on the horizon...
A precious book read a thousand times.. .
A simple talk carrying its meaning too far..

A lone tree surviving in a cruel windy weather...
A lone bright star amidst the universe containing a vast pool of brighter stars...
A tear which rolls down on a cheek...
A plethora of emotions hid behind one smiling, laughing face...

A person who wants to fight the unfair world with all her might...
A person who wants to make some place for herself in the hearts of others...
A person who wants to bring a smile on other people's faces...
A person who is lonely... not by choice, but by chance...

That's me...

on Songs...

Songs... specially, old hindi songs...

I don't think I can really define the kind of charm they have... I am a fan of all kinds of hindi film songs right from late 40's to late 90's... but I still don't know why, I don't much like the songs that Bollywood generates today.. with some exceptions, of course..

I get bored with new songs very easily.. I listen to them for some time if I like them, then I just get fed up with them soon..

it NEVER happens so with old songs.. I always feel a kind of charm, a freshness about them.. especially the songs sung by Kishore, Rafi, Geeta Dutt, Asha and Hemant Kumar.. I still don't know what attracts me to yaad kiya dilne kahan ho tum.. who knows Usha Kiran and Dev Anand these days? but I still like the song and the video both.. I have even set it as my caller tune.. it seemed so perfect for a caller tune..

yaad kiya dil ne kahan ho tum
jhoomati bahaar hai kahan ho tum
pyaar se pukar lo jahan ho tum
pyaar se pukar lo jahan ho tum

whenever anyone of my friends remembers me and calls me, I always feel like telling them "call me with love wherever you are, I am just a phone call away.."

there is this old-world innocence and charm associated with the romantic songs like maang ke saath tumhara from naya daur or udhar tum haseen ho idhar dil jawan hai yeh rangeen raaton ki ek daastan hai from Mr. and Mrs. 55 or aaja sanam madhur chandani mein hum tum mile to virane mein bhi aa jayegi bahar... wow!!! i just love those lyrics.. there's some shyness associated with the expression, and very subtle undercurrents of passion... it all seems attractive, and better than the nakedness of physical wants and needs that we come across in recent songs.

I think people and their expressions look more clear if the song is shot in black-and-white mode.. even the comedy, like Johny Walker does in various movies and songs.. the one i absolutely love is the office romance in jaane kahan mera jigar gaya ji.. and another one is sar jo tera chakaraaye... and aye dil hai mushquil jeena yahan.. jara hatke jara bachke yeh hai bombay meri jaan.. I absolutely love looking at all those locations in Mumbai when it was still called as 'Bombay'..

Now what do I say about Kishore Kumar? He is the uncontested king of the old hindi songs, and GOD OF SINGING according to me.. the way he manages to make you smile with his yodling or laugh with the songs like paanch rupaiya baara aana or gaana na aaya bajaana na aaya, or makes u feel sad and emotional with some songs like zindagi ka safar hai yeh kaisa safar, mera jeevan kora kagaz.. or gives u all those subtle romantic vibes in o hansini and tum bin jaoon kahan.. or makes you dance to the tunes of om shanti om and saara zamana.. haseenon ka deewana... only one word for all that... AMAZING!!! I'm absolutely in awe of this person...

only one equally versatile female singer is Asha... when she sings.. oh god, she blows you away with her talented voice... this woman can sing songs of any genre.. be it romantic, discotheque, sad, passionate, ghazal, mujra.. you name it and she has sung it... Asha when sings to the tunes of R. D. Burman with Gulzar's words... a masterpiece like mera kuchh samaan tumhare paas pada hai is created... that one is my all time favourite..

I can very well go on and on like this about old hindi movie songs.. but I got to stop somewhere... so I will stop here, though I've once again returned to my shell where I live with my songs.. I will listen to some more songs now, and will write about the rest later on..

Let there be music!!!

A lazy morning...

I love mornings...

when I say that, I mean I love mornings when I can sleep for howmuchever time I want to, and nobody comes to disturb me and wake me up... and even after getting up, I love to lie in bed and think, or read some book that I couldn't finish last night... the best of the books that I read, I have loved to read them in this fashion... and the best of my self-assessment or brainstorming has happened at this time...

Today also, it is such kind of a morning... oops!! its 12:30... I got up at 11:00... and still lying in bed, writing this blog... staying in hostel in summertime, with no work at hand can give me this kind of luxury... all otherwise there's mom who yells at me saying I don't have any manners, discipline etc etc... or there are classes to attend, work to be done, projects to be completed...

but right now, I am just living a peaceful life at my hostel... the campus is all serene, silent and beautiful without the normal hustle, people talking, shouting, partying etc etc... in such a situation, all that 'laziness' sets in...

people might call it laziness... even I feel so sometimes... but in this rat-race of life, I need to have some time for myself... some time, which is absolutely and uniquely mine.. for which I am not answerable to anyone, except perhaps the almighty... but certainly not today.. I will have to settle that account years after.. why to worry about it now?

I sometimes don't know why I am doing a PG course.. why do all people want me to work hard? what if I don't? they say that I'll suffer... what if I want to suffer? or, what if I enjoy not working hard?

why other people always consider that I am answerable to them, for the time that I spend with myself? its MY time, I will spend the way I want... I am doing myself some good by spending a lazy day or a lazy morning... I think, I read, I write, I take my time doing small everyday things and really enjoy doing them... for example, taking bath is such a joyous thing!! In everyday chaos I just want to have a bath as a ritual so that I get fresh and then I have to reach somewhere to work on something... when I take time out for myself, I appreciate gain the joys of small everyday things...

well, I might not be able to appreciate the beauty of the morning sun, or the dewdrops on grass... but I can certainly enjoy being with myself, and doing the things that I really love to do, and most importantly, not to do anything because I have too...

In a contemplative mood...

I was just reading my friend's blog... and something triggered my mind...

she says she sees me as a tough person who doesn't show their emotions often... and here I am, thinking that I'm a creature with the feeblest mindset on earth.. I always have my eyes full of water.. I start crying every now and then.. maybe not when I am sad, but everytime when someone insults me, and I get angry... but generally people don't understand that these tears come out when I think that it is a defeat.. anger and hopelessness of the situation often give way to tears..

Those are the moments when I am supposed to be strong, cool and level-headed... and those are the moments when I need the least of sympathies... and I get more angry if people try to sympathise, looking at my tears... thats gives way to more tears.. and it continues.. till I tell myself that I am nothing but a stupid emotional fool.. and I always have my heart on my sleeves.. and my mind is weak enough to let my heart control my actions...

so.. what I began writing is about the perceptions..

When we say that we know someone.. is it not our perception about that person that we see as an absolute truth? How can a person completely 'know' some other person? we can just say that we know some typical habits and reactions of that person in some particular situations...

when I come to think of it, how much do I know myself? Don't my own actions surprise me now and then? Sometimes I condemn myself for having a particular thought.. saying that "this is not me.. I don't think that way.. I don't know where that thought came from..." Why do I make such statements about myself?

Am I not living by my own perceptions about myself? Am I not casting an ideal image of myself while thinking that some things that I do are uncharacteristic of me? Are they really uncharacteristic of me, or I don't want to admit that the things I critisize the most.. they are actually a part of me... they reside within me, though I like it or not... why can't I accept myself as I am?

These are the questions.. and I know the answers lie within... within me, myself and my thoughts...