Thinking about you…

I close my eyes and think about you
I try hard not to let you go
I fight with myself to keep you alive
In my thoughts, actions and memories

I have got used to thinking about you
For days together, not counting nights
Sometimes I do it automatically
Just like a ritual I have got to do

I close my eyes and think about you
And then I wonder… why do I do it?
Is it really because I miss you?
Or is it just because I have got used to it?

I used to fight with you
Telling you not to give up
Justifying myself a thousand times
Trying my best to make you understand

Loving someone does not mean giving up
Love is all about standing up and fighting
With situation, with society, with critics;
With yourself, with me, with destiny…

Now I try hard to think about you
All that you really were…
All that I thought you were
And all that you actually weren’t…

Now sometimes I fight with myself
Because I have stopped thinking about you

I forget to remember you in each happy or sad moment
I disregard the memories once close to my heart
I don’t recall the last time I missed you
I have become ignorant of your existence…

Sometimes I feel
That I don’t know you anymore

And then I realize
That I never knew you…
I never ever knew you…