I was just reading my friend's blog... and something triggered my mind...
she says she sees me as a tough person who doesn't show their emotions often... and here I am, thinking that I'm a creature with the feeblest mindset on earth.. I always have my eyes full of water.. I start crying every now and then.. maybe not when I am sad, but everytime when someone insults me, and I get angry... but generally people don't understand that these tears come out when I think that it is a defeat.. anger and hopelessness of the situation often give way to tears..
Those are the moments when I am supposed to be strong, cool and level-headed... and those are the moments when I need the least of sympathies... and I get more angry if people try to sympathise, looking at my tears... thats gives way to more tears.. and it continues.. till I tell myself that I am nothing but a stupid emotional fool.. and I always have my heart on my sleeves.. and my mind is weak enough to let my heart control my actions...
so.. what I began writing is about the perceptions..
When we say that we know someone.. is it not our perception about that person that we see as an absolute truth? How can a person completely 'know' some other person? we can just say that we know some typical habits and reactions of that person in some particular situations...
when I come to think of it, how much do I know myself? Don't my own actions surprise me now and then? Sometimes I condemn myself for having a particular thought.. saying that "this is not me.. I don't think that way.. I don't know where that thought came from..." Why do I make such statements about myself?
Am I not living by my own perceptions about myself? Am I not casting an ideal image of myself while thinking that some things that I do are uncharacteristic of me? Are they really uncharacteristic of me, or I don't want to admit that the things I critisize the most.. they are actually a part of me... they reside within me, though I like it or not... why can't I accept myself as I am?
These are the questions.. and I know the answers lie within... within me, myself and my thoughts...
Yes Meghana, You are absolutely right. It is certainly the game of perceptions that we keep playing all along the life.It is the perception that we keep building and breaking and then rebuiling every time, becuase perhaps a perception of ours is the way we understand the world around and it provides us the comfort of being in the zone of worldly awareness that is much more relaxing than the ignorance.
ReplyDeleteIt is good to see people reflecting and questioning things around and remaining busy in the process of creating and recreating worldly perceptions.
Keep up the reflective mood, dear.
Dear meghana,I have read all the blogs,and was glad to know that you are matured and you are thinking about yourself in somewhat logical manner.When u want to live in a society there r certtain norms or u can call it a set of rules which r applicable to all in general.But the rules can be amended as per situation. and as every person is unique so are his reactions. Is it sounding more legal terminology? I am afraid it is so.I have to say that u have good expression,and drafting. you can write good English too.Your writing about rain reminded me about first rain of every season that we used to stand on terraceand we welcome the rains with open arms and heart that is already flooded with rain.I always like to see and be a part of rain .bye AAI
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