Oh God! Things have changed so much since I last wrote anything... in past one year, I have passed out from a B-school, attended the convocation, grabbed the first job that was offered to me, and worked for 6 months in a start-up company, learning many things along the way...
And then the turning point of each girl's life arrived... MARRIAGE!!!
(Actually the word still scares me, though I've been married for about 5 months now...)
My parents were pressurising me to have a look at the suitable matches, even before I left the B-school. But when I came back home and started with my job, they thought that 'enough is enough' and I should get married ASAP. As I hadn't found myself a suitable 'marriage material' guy to marry with, and wasn't in love with any 'unsuitable' kind either, my parents and I had to take that long route called ARRANGED MARRIAGE.
So... a not-so-long-but-very-torturous process of finding grooms started. My parents got crazy and registered my name in at least 5 marriage bureaus (including online and offline). To be honest, I met only 4 guys and one of them is my husband today! (Should I say now that my parents' investment in this groomfinding business got a drastic low ROI?) So we started that typical process of writing down my bio-data (monitored by my parents so that I won't write THE WHOLE TRUTH, coz honesty is not always the best policy); sending out my photograph in which I won't look as fat as I am; browsing through the matrimonial website from which my cousin had found a good match; looking at hundreds of profiles which my parents shortlisted while I was in office - at a rate of at least 20 per day; sending out emails to those I felt are OK, etc etc.
My mother thought I was weird because I wanted to write in my marriage profile that I'm short-tempered and I would like my husband to help me with daily chores (I AM HONEST and I can't help it!). She was unhappy when I selected 1/2 bald guys' profiles because I liked the other aspects or when I said I'm okay with a very wheatish (close to black) complexioned guy because 'looks don't matter'. So the season of me clashing with my parents on each and every matter had arrived in full swing!
While my mother was concerned about looks, my father got very anxious about the family responsibility and financial background of the guys. No amount of money was sufficient according to him. And here they were... telling me that it’s entirely my choice whom to marry... as long as I adhere to their specifications and expectations...Whether their expectations of a son-in-law match with my expectations of a life partner was not an issue of concern. It soon turned into a sort of war of words everyday between me and my parents, because prospective grooms was the only thing they would talk about when I returned home from work.
But, as they say, marriages are made in heaven and maybe GOD intervened to end my torture earlier than expected. After I met Chaitanya for the first time (we were given 20-25 mins to speak 'alone'), I was at least sure that I like this person. Next day we met once for a brief period of 1 hour, and I was almost sure that I wanted to marry him! Now I think it was so easy to criticise the love-at-first-sight stories and movies. I had always thought that I'm a very practical and tough girl and it’s not easy for me to fall in love or develop a crush by just talking to a person for 1 hour. But it really happened!
Okay... I am not in dreamland. I'm still that practical girl that everyone knows. So I talked to him afterwards on phone and chat, and we decided to meet for a few more hours before taking a final decision. So we talked to our parents, my mother escorted me to Pune and we spent some time together over lunch and coffee (without my mother). I must confess now, I really interrogated him at that time! I asked a lot of questions and told him THE WHOLE TRUTH about myself... hehehe.... nothing verrry serious... just that I'm very short-tempered, somewhat dominating and adament... and he would have to tolerate it for the whole life. And he agreed, I don't know why and how... maybe that was an effect of that love-at-first-sight phenomenon!!!
The end result was that we decided to marry each other in a very awkward sort of way... without saying it in words directly... but we decided to tell that to our parents anyway. Then it all happened so quickly! My parents had liked him when we had met for the first time, then my grandparents had inquired about his family through their contacts, and finally everyone approved of the alliance. Then we went to Chaitanya’s home in Sangli and our parents decided that we should get engaged within 12 days... without taking our opinion of course!
So a new confusion started when I completely freaked out! I started feeling like an idiot... getting engaged within 3 months of getting out of college... “Come on! I’m not that marriageable matured girl at all! I’m just out of college, for God’s sake! There I was, enjoying my carefree days at IMT 3 months back and now I’m expected to be all mature and responsible... shit! What would I do now?” And what I actually did was stupid in a way... I called Chaitanya and told him all of this... and told him I don’t want to get married so fast. I’m not mentally prepared for marriage... and blah blah blah blah... I actually cried non-stop for 2-3 hours on phone, telling all of this to the person I barely knew for 15 days, and was expected to spend my entire life with! It’s not supposed to happen this way, right? But it did... and he actually listened to all of that, and understood it. It so turned out that he was also not happy about the fast pace of the proceedings, and wanted some more time to know me. We both agreed about the fact that we can’t change the engagement and marriage dates... Because parents weren’t ready to listen and understand. So we decided to spend every weekend together till marriage, trying to get to know each other as well as possible before the wedding day.
More fighting with my parents started now, because I was working for 6 days, and on Sunday I wasn’t free for shopping and other things. So my mom started saying that we need not meet each other so often as we are going to end up together anyway! How we argued over the matter! To think of the fact that they wanted us to spend life together, and couldn’t grant a few moments to understand each other! What an irony!!! But that’s life... and I discovered that this opposition actually worked wonders with our relationship as we tried to find out more opportunities to spend time with each other. All we had were Sundays as we both had holiday that day and he had to come down from Pune to Thane to meet me. But those days were fun and we enjoyed a lot in spite of the opposition from both parties!
So finally the big day of wedding arrived! Everything was going on as my parents wished... all the ceremonies, food preparations, everything... I don’t actually remember much of it except that the photographer was boring us with his instructions and awkward poses. The wedding day, two receptions, the pooja and other ceremonies... everything passed in a haze... looking back, I don’t remember much of those moments...
Now, here I am, settled in my new home at Pune... cooking everyday... giving Tiffin to Chaitanya and his sister... doing all household chores... and just passing my time in between... getting bored most of the daytime... searching for job desperately...
I still can’t believe that I’ve been married for 5 months now and I don’t think I have changed much... I’m that same person... somewhat cranky, moody, crazy, insane... sometimes sweet, bubbly, cheerful... sometimes sensible and sometimes mad... doing and saying some odd things which I shouldn’t do or say... passionate about music, books and movies... I’m the same... except for the fact that I now have someone in my life with whom I can share each and everything of this... and he loves me the way I am!!!
And that is the biggest change in my life...
:-)
