When we live in today’s so-called modern society, in India; we can see distinct types and traits of people. Some people are hardcore orthodox, some are really ‘modern’ in their thinking and behavior and third category is that of wannabes. And today I want to write about these wannabes. Majority of today’s middle class (lower middle, middle middle and some part of upper middle class included) are the wannabes. They want to show to the world that they are modern, they are the rational thinkers and doing something great for the society, be it the change in their dressing sense or letting their daughters go out and party (though closely monitored).
The key question here is; does dressing modernly mean it is modern thinking? Does breaking some archetypical social norms and trying to set new ones, deliberately mean rational thinking? Does copying western culture blindly mean that you are doing something radical? In most of the cases, the original, core mindset remains orthodox. It is just the outer mask that these people are trying to change.
Basically, if you see, no thinking can be termed as ‘different’, ‘radical’, or ‘modern’; simply because no two persons can think alike. Just because as a society, we live with some rules, regulations and unspoken norms doesn’t mean that we actually think those norms are good for us. There is not a single person on this earth who never had any urge to fight against some of the social norms which haven’t changed with times; I am sure of that.
There are certain incidences in our lives which we can’t exactly fit into the standard definitions. And being in the society, every other person expects every other person to define clearly their role and goals in life, to define their relationships in a standard format accepted by the society. The question is who constitutes the society? A bunch of hypocrites like you and me? Yes, I would certainly admit here that I’m a hypocrite. According to me, a hypocrite is a person who is aware of the truth but does not have the courage or guts to ‘live’ the truth. In this case, I would say that ‘ignorance is bliss’ because you don’t have to think about anything, just walk through your life along with a herd, and you live a respectable life in the ‘society’.
What about the people who are able to think rationally, but due to their upbringing and cowardice are not able to implement their thoughts? Practically speaking, they are the hypocrites, but I would say they are poor souls trapped in their own image and perceptions of themselves created in other people’s minds. “If I actually do what I think, what would the society say? Will I be ignored/ boycotted? What about my own ‘respectable’ future? What would happen to my near and dear ones? Will they have to suffer contempt of society because of me? What about my parents? They raised me with all that they have, isn’t it my duty to see them happy when they are old? Am I being selfish by just looking at myself and my thought process, disregarding the set norms? But if I don’t, I will be the one to suffer rather than a whole bunch of people who will get hurt by my behavior”… “Sacrifice, Sacrifice, Sacrifice… for whom? For a set of dumb people who don’t have independent thinking capabilities? Or for other cowards like me who don’t want to tarnish their own image which is collectively built over the years?”
Why do I need to define each and every relationship of mine very meticulously? There are many things which are unsaid and undone, just understood. Why do I have this strong urge to put everything in black and white, with no gray areas in between? Just to keep myself safe? Safe from what? Just to say that I don’t want any confusions and complexities in my life? Isn’t this the biggest confusion in itself? After a confusion happens, I try to mould it deliberately in some silly rules and norms so that, u know, I maintain the image that I and my parents cultivated for myself over these past 25 years.
I have my own set of relationships, be it my friends, my relatives, the person I loved at some point of my life, and the people who are close to me, but can’t be set into definitions. What exactly can you say about the relationship between a guy and a girl, if there’s no physical attraction, nothing of the mushy-mushy being-in-love kind of feelings, but just a mutual respect and mature understanding? Going by typical Indian society’s norms, either you cut off some parameters of this kind of friendship, be ‘strictly friends’ or you call the person your ‘rakhi brother/sister’, which has become a joke in itself, or you be afraid of not having any definitions and try to mould this relationship in socially ‘acceptable’ love affair, though the kind of feelings you have for that person are entirely on a different level? It is not exactly a friendship, not an affair, you don’t exactly think of the person as a brother/sister. You exactly know where your relationship stands, you are very clear what you want from your own life, you know it perfectly well that you have found out someone who understands you well, respects you, treats you like a kid when you need some comfort, treats you like a parent when he/she needs some advise, you have just found a common comfort zone with each other. How do you define this kind of relationship? How do you get on, accepting the conditions imposed by other people? Why to put an end to a beautiful relationship, just because you are afraid of ‘what will other people think’? Why not to stand straight and dare to call a spade a spade? Why not to get on with your own life when you know that you are 100% right and clear in your thinking? Why not, for once, refuse to be a hypocrite and do what you feel is right?
Why not to end the typical mindset, to end all the confusions?
